It seemed like a great deal for a while… but then I got pregnant. Considering our history, I was surprised by how much I yearned and needed my mother when I gave birth.
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Struggling to know what to do with my baby, I paced the halls into the early hours of the morning, reaching for the phone and then changing my mind a hundred times a night. Instead of cooking meals, doing some laundry or babysitting reliably, she did the opposite demanding food when she was hungry, telling me what I did was rubbish, and for the most part, sitting around watching TV as I struggled to look after what felt like two children. I threw her out after that. Over the years, our relationship has deteriorated to the point where I no longer let her look after my kids and I limit how much time I spend in her presence with my kids.
Kids Need a Mom and a Dad – That’s What the Research Shows | Focus on the Family
Bad mother. I pack lunchboxes, plait braids and remain on-hand to talk any time my kids want?
Did she not love me like this once? My hand could have been better, but then, it also could have been much, much worse.
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Thank goodness for small mercies. Nine 9Honey Mums.
Compared to children who are raised by their married parents, children in other family types are more likely to achieve lower levels of education, to become teen parents, and to experience health, behavior, and mental health problems. And children in single- and cohabiting-parent families are more likely to be poor.
Children in single-parent families, children born to unmarried mothers, and children in stepfamilies or cohabiting relationships face higher risks of poor outcomes than do children in intact families headed by two biological parents. Parental divorce is also linked to a range of poorer academic and behavioral outcomes among children.
There is thus value for children in promoting strong, stable marriages between biological parents. Such a design, in theory, would not only ensure that children had access to the time and money of two adults, it would provide a system of checks and balances that promote quality parenting. The fact that both adults have a biological connection to the child would increase the likelihood that the parents would identify with the child and be willing to sacrifice for that child and it would reduce the likelihood that either parent would abuse the child.
The researchers cited are careful in their conclusions to explain that growing up without a mother or father, or without both, does not doom a child to poor outcomes in life.