I ran across this the other day and some good points are made about life after a loss. Yes this is me…. Are you on Instagram or do you have a blog? Thank you for sharing x. It was beautiful Sad but beautiful to read all the love that was felt for the ones we have lost.
I too have lost much and lost very deeply. This may sound odd to some, maybe give you peace or maybe you wont believe it but this is my take on the loss. My dad passed 2 years ago on the 7th of March. He was in a nursing home and just passing his time. I had great visits several times aweek and on Tuesdays with my brother as well for the past few years.
During our last few visits he would go somewhere else , I could see his face soften and his eyes would turn a beeautiful icy blue s he drifted. Dads voice became weak and he whisperd to my huband that he was going home in 3 day and 24 hours, which put it on Tueaday morning. Monday I was pretty sick and a bit concerned but Tuesday morning I felt perfect and headed to pick up my brother and visit dad which usually was around noon. Driving up I-5 Washington all of a sudden the cab of my truck became so difficult to describe the feeling it became the most beautiful loving bright warmth your heart and soul could imagine.
It filled my heart with such unconditional love and joy I burst in to tears at the purest form of love that I was feeling. I looked up and my dad was a younger man and smiling the most content smile and reached his hand out and waved goodbye. It had been 3 days and 24 hours, he passed at 11; He was home. In the background I could see shadows of figures and I assumed it was his family waiting for him. I regained my thoughts and a few moments later the nursing home called to say dad had passed and I quietly replyed that I already knew. There was no sadness or fear of what came next for him.
Nothing but beautiful true pure love awaited him. He showed me or GOD let him show me, which ever you believe that yes it is very very difficult to move forward in our lives, some days nearly impossible. We hopefully can take comfort that they have found peace and are pain free. My mom passed when I was 6 and my dad when I was I hold that love so tight and I take that core love they gave me and the strength of my faith and I move forward each day.
He too was my anchor of love and strenght all my life. I wish all could experience what I did. I feel very honored to be shown that. While his passing is incredable difficult to manuver past I still feel his love. I know he is alright and maybe when my time is up someday I will be ok too, ones passing has a different understanding and meaning to me now.
I hope you all can find peace and joy in the memories and most of all heal with love, that is what they would want. You all are very loved. I lost my mom Not at all. She was my best friend, my rock , my everything.. I have to b for her. To stay alive, and it is so hard. Nobody understans. I also have cluster headaches which i had for years. I feel the same way about my mother. She died 3 years ago and I am still a mess. If it were not for my husband, I would not want to be alive. Thank you for your description of what your mother was to you: your best friend, your rock, and especially your everything.
I am in the 4th year without her, and still cry every day and cannot imagine going on so many more years without her. Good luck to you. I can relate to the posts. My mom died on the 16th Jan at in ICU. It huts hurts this strange reality called death. Getting on in a world in which I finally join those who have to accept: my mom, best friend, haven, is gone.
Correction September 28, October idk where that came from. Unless it was due to previous comments. Well here I sit reading as tears drip my my chin as they have for the past two or three, hell maybe four days now. I lost my beloved mother October 28, The absolute worse day of my life.
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It was a Friday. I found out at work that I needed to leave and go straight to my mothers. I knew in my heart why I was needed. My husband with me hand and hand. See there is no comfort for me anymore. I long to feel my mothers arms embrace me, kiss my cheek and say I love you, Cha. Would it be just once more to satisfy me till my turn comes, I think not but it sounds convincing. Oh how that would break my mothers heart. I hear her say Cha you are strong, you can do this and everything will be okay.
See my mother and I have struggled all my life and she struggled all of hers. We were always hit with difficult tasks it was just our way of life. A force to be reckon with and love as fierce as blue embers of fire. She taught me everything. She was my mother and my father, my best friend, she was my rock. Aside from her mother dying, my grandmother.
See my mother was very young when she had me so all three of us women had a special bond. At times when I look back I can see my mother May of thought I looked at my grandmother as a mother and probably so when I was a child. It was the comfort that my grandmother could give to both my mom and I. When my grandmother passed a light went out in my mothers eyes. It never came back. I looked and looked for it but it was gone. My mother was very much alone in her mind.
Oh how I wish I could of filled some of her emptiness but she was consumed by griefs ugliness. Slowly I watched my mother decline. I never knew her pain as I know it today. It was just an emptiness that I suppose is always going to be present as far as I can tell. My mother was in pain meds and heart meds. Lots and lots of meds. The pain meds brought the landslide down. I knew when I started to see my mother take more than prescribed and nod off there was a big problem.
When I would try to talk to her about it, she would get angry and irritated at me. Then some days she would see they were a huge problem. She got herself in this pill circle if you will. It was terrible and heart breaking to see my mother like this. The Monday before my mother passed, she called me early early morning. As she spoke, she spoke about being with my step father all weekend.
Alarmed I jumped from bed, jerked on my clothes, called my oldest daughter to keep my mother on the phone till I could get there. I arrived and called for an ambulance. My mother was very mad at me. I knew she was over medicated but I also knew there was something else going on with her.
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I told them to stop or I would do whatever I had to do to make sure they were stopped. These women were talking out of their heads. I left and spent that afternoon calling every doctor and pain clinic within a 60 mile radius. It was exhausting but I was able to stop some of the pills from reaching my mother. I was then faced with what to do with her doctor and meds. I was scared now of what it may end up doing. Would I be pushing my mother to get her pills from the streets. So with that I did nothing else. Even though I was haunted by the fact I knew something bad was going to happen to my mother.
My mother called me one last time. She was still not in her right mind. I kept telling her something was wrong. I was so scared and I told her so. This day was different. A few days later that dreadful Friday came. My whole world as I knew it changed. The holidays were the worse. I constantly thought about my mother and what she would be doing if infact she were here. Idk if I can ever be that person again. I can tell you I will strife to be but in case I can not please love me anyways. Love you my dear sweet mother. I carry you with me always.
Your there for ever goal made or medal awarded to your grand babies and every tear shed out of joy or sadness. Your still very much apart of me. That I can never be stripped of. Your post reminded me so much of my mum, especially about when your mum used to always encourage you and seemed so strong and able to face any problem and so gave you strength, too. My mum passed away in April of I have thought of her every day since then, perhaps for a moment or two or sometimes longer.
She was my rock in life! Nothing seemed quite as bad when I shared it with her. She had so much common sense and she seemed so strong. I was not able to tell her how much I loved her when she was dying. I was frozen with fear. I managed to tell her that I would look after Pinky for her Pinky was her little pet bird who she loved.
I hope she knew that I felt the same. I am lost without her. She, like you, was my mother and my father rolled into one. I miss her oh, so much. Thank you for reading. Dear Delyse, I entirely agree with you about what you wrote about the pain and emotions. My Mum died on April 4, , the day of Easter. I can feel the sadness, the pain and the sorrow invade my body and my soul. This morning, I woke up suddenly because I had a nightmare. This nightmare was destabilizing.. She was my rock in life, my best friend, my beloved Mum.
To my eyes, she was the most wonderful Mum in the world. She was here when I was crying, she was here when I was happy…. It may sound childish. She passed away 4 years ago. I was there when she was dying at the hospital. I was in shock for months… I miss her so much. I can feel your pain. Thank you. I read what you wrote with tears in my eyes because I so related to so many things you said. My dear mom passed on Feb. I just want to sleep, but wake up crying every morning realizing I will never see my best friend again. Friends and family say all the right things, but it all feels so empty.
I am because my Mom made me that way. She was my rock and anchor. I hope so. So I have to honor her wish to go on and live a full, happy life. You are so blessed to have a husband and children.
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I never married. They love me from afar, but its not the same. Hug and kiss your kids everyday because your Mom lives on in them as well. Please email if you get a chance. Watching you take the last breath Cremating your body thereafter Collecting your ashes and Scattering them into the sea Have broken me…totally! Having nurtured me with love and care Unconditionally… For more than half a century Your absence makes me drown In an ocean of tears…. You mattered most to me But now nothing matters…as much!
I lived with mum for 59yrs, I was her soul buddy. But how can I throw them out, they once gave her life meaning and joy, they were part of her? I talk out loud to her, and she tells me to carry on, and do all those sensible things we ought to for our health and joy. So I honour her by trying to do so. But our time has not yet come, so we must struggle on, and we will find some joy again. Surely we owe them that. Our mums, dads, sons, daughters all loved us — and would WANT us to carry on, as we would them if died.
So the best thing to do is honour them by carrying on — and being healthy, doing the right thing, and being an example to others who will also experience shocking losses. Hi Bryan, Thank you for all your heartfelt posts. I so relate to your experience. I lived with my Mom for 50 years. Everyone keeps telling me to move out of our apartment, which I will eventually, but for now I need the familiarity of the life we had together.
Yes, it is so painful at times to see her things, but also a comfort. I will however with the help of a dear family member purge her things a few months from now. I will of course save the favorite, sentimental and special things. I encourage you to do the same. I do think that it will help foster the feeling of moving on. My darling Irish mother died of cancer 21 Sept My problem is that I lived with her for for 59 yrs, I had a great life with her, she allowed me unlimited freedom to date women, travel, study, work where ever I wanted it to.
My father died when I was 16, so I kind of just slipped into the role of her breadwinner, even though she had a small pension. The depth of our love for each other was bottomless, so now the depth of my grief is acute. She left me her home, as I was the primary carer for two painful years, even washing her when the time was near.
She was a proud Irish woman, only trusting me, her son, to take care of all her needs. Although, living in her home, now my home, was comforting at first, so many of her things cripple me with sad memories, all her belongings.
I talk to her over breakfast and during the day and night. Keep fit and healthy. Each day is consumed by just existing and eating something healthy. The only respite is sleep, then the nightmare begins when I wake to a new day. I just hope the pain eases over this year, feeding myself with positive thoughts that I can go on. I believe I can, and know I can…. I must — for her.
She saw me take my first breath, I saw her take her last. Your words really touched me, thank you. I lost my darling Irish Mum on 30th October Still devastated and so lonely without her. She was my best friend x. Hello Bryan, i read your post, thank you for sharing, i instantly related to your words. I too was there for my mum at the end and felt her last breath blown onto the left side of. I dont live in her home and miss not having her home to visit. Mum was my rock, such a selfless person and struggled for years with her illness which was agony to watch. I always said if she can bare it then so must i.
I nursed others over 30 years but nothing prepared me for the pain i have inside at witnessing not only mums struggle and awful circumstances but also her painful passing which nobody should have to endure in this day and age. You sound a good honourble son and supported your mother, be proud of yourself. Please feel free to messge me. My mother passed away on Nov. I feel a loss so deep that I ache for somehow to find a way to cope with the loss.
I have recently start attending a grief support group. This has helped just to talk to other who have experienced the same type of loss. Grief will eat you alive and you have to grieve. Each of us have to grieve at our own pace and how we choose to grieve. Just as long as it comes out and your dealing with it. One thing I will never forget was how much she loved me. She would tell me all the time. I know no one will ever love me like my mom did with all my faults.
She would always tell me how pretty I was or I had nice legs and face.. Everyday is a struggle cause I miss her so much. I just wish I could go back in time and re-do so many things. I know I will never find anyone that loves me more than her and who would have gave her life for me, no questions asked. My dad was an absent type of verbally abusive male, it was my MOM that loved me.. I miss her so much. I still rememner every detail about the day she got sick and the day tht she died, my whole life fell apart, she was my best friend, i cry myself to sleep pretty much every night still now even though all the years have passed, i never recieved any councelling, i never had anyone i could talk to, 17 years of bottled up emotions have really got to me this year… my dad died a year after my mum too so i had to deal with losing my dad while grieving for my mum, how do you even get over something like that at such a young age???
At any age! But it will take time, as your new experiences will slowly help fade the pain of the crippling sorrows. The acute pain you feel now will prompt you to take a new path, it will be very difficult to take those small steps, eating well, a little exercise and trying to get some sleep without meds. And then exploring new hobbies, writing, like here on this forum is healthy, maybe some painting and playing music.
No one can live a full life without these two experiences. In a way losing my Mum, after living with her for 59 years, has being the biggest shock and turning point in my life. I am, and believe I will, begin to increasingly thaw out to experience some joys in life again. I hear my mum inside of me, she speaks to me, encourages me to get on with my life, eat, sleep and be healthy…do all those little chores around the house that need doing….
Hi My mum died October 13 The October time is so painful. I was so angry that his death now could morph into overshadowing the grief for my mum the strongest most admirable woman I know. Then on 3 March my best friend rang for me to get to her house as Conner her 7year old son had been hit and killed by a car at km per hour.
I stayed for 3 months to help my friend but I do know that you have to be able to grieve for everyone individually. I have never spoken to anyone about my experience with losing my mum. If anyone has any ideas I would really appreciate it. Wow — Thank you all for sharing so honestly how you are working through and struggling with your grief. My mom passed on September 25th Nothing prepares you for the loss of deeply intimate relationships such as a parent s. I do, however, take comfort in a conversation I had with my dad when I was 7 or 8 years old.
I was just coming in to understanding what death was and I came to him in tears asking him what will I do if something were to happen to him and mom? One day, while sitting bedside with her in August I thought back to last Christmas. I realize their will be plenty of emotions within the upcoming holiday season. So the truth is that life really is short and clearly our own time will pass.
The question remains each day: How shall that time be utilized? I will always treasure my trove of moments with my parents and through that I will manage the grief. I know my parents want me to smile, laugh, and have happiness in however I define it. I am 15 years old. I lost my mum when I was 8 on the 10th of November so in 9 days. It will be 7 years.
I now deal with severe grief, depression, death anxiety, and social anxiety. It literally causes me pain to think about her no matter how hard I try to think of it in a positive way. I just feel so tired and helpless and like no one around me can relate. I am so intrigued with death yet so fearful. I genuinely am so confused and just tired. I want her to come back. I just want her to come back you know?
I have a 12 year old girl — that my mum never got to see — see died when I was 3 months pregnant. When my mum died I lost my rock, I had my marriage breakdown and have been at the depths of depression and despair. So do not have that crutch to lean on. For example adyashanti, rupert spira, jed mckenna to name a few. I still miss her with all my heart — I have my beautiful daughter to pour my love into and who loves me with the intensity I love my mum. We are complex, biological creatures — this biology and evolution leads to sometimes overwhelming emotional pain when our loved ones leave us.
I wish you all the best in life, as I know you mother would have too. Please think of what she would have wanted for you to be able to find some joy in life and feel and live after she left. The fact that you love her so much means that she would want your amazing deep love to go on into yourself and to others. I hurt for you! I lost my dad when I was 11, and it was so hard! I was angry and sad and closed down for a long time.
I am 43 now, and my mom just passed away, and the grief is deeper than words can express. You are not alone! I encourage you to call out to Jesus. Give it a chance. You might think you are talking to the air, but He is real and He loves you. He knows your pain, and he wants to walk with you through it. With him, you are never alone. Your life has a purpose because He created you.
He gives comfort to broken hearts. If you have a Holy Bible, start reading the book of John to learn more about Jesus and how you can get to know Him personally as your Savior. I will pray for you, Cody Day. You mum lives in your heart now. And she is at peace, where ever she is. You were, and are, still very, very close to her. You and your mum must have loved each other deeply.
But, as hard as it is now, you must honour your mum by carrying on with your life — bit by bit. You will begin to feel better, sobbing and crying a lot helps for now. Dark thoughts of suicide will only, as you said hurt your dad and others, but also your lovely mum. She wants you to live your life here now, on Earth, as she did.
You seem a remarkably young and intelligent and sensitive person. You wrote on this forum. You have a lot to give. For now though, take small steps, eating well, a little exercise, and sleeping well. And chat more on this and other forums, it helps. Bryan What a beautiful response. I did agree with the part of God though. I hope you continue to advise people on this site. I did not agree with the part of God though.
Correction on the God part. My mother died eight years ago this past August. And now, I have been told I will lose my husband within the next few years. I want my mother. But now, facing the loss of my husband, my grief at not having her with me almost overpowers me, at times. I always thought they were tears of sweet happiness at her memory. Now, I know they were still tears of deepest grief.
Your post has so deeply resonated in me. My mum who was only 65 passed away last year on the 23rd October. I am dreading that day and the 1st Anniversary. Since autumn started creeping in I find myself in a bit of an emotional mess. I miss her so deeply every day and heart just feels sore and sad most of the time. She meant the world to me. No amount of time will ever change that as my love for her will never lessen. Thank you! Thank you for this!
I am ok. Thank you for your beautiful words. My Mom passed on March 6, and my dad passed the spring before. I thought Spring would be toughest, but I was so wrong. I was so numb the first year after she died. Each year after gets harder and harder. And what makes it particularly painful for me is my younger brother.
Oh, Dee, I can really understand your grief. Mine is similar, my darling Irish mum died of cancer Sept 21 We were soul buddies, and loved each other deeply, hence the grief is painfully deep. I was her primary carer for two painful years watching her slowly die. She saw me take my first breath, and I saw her take her last breath on her bed. I now write from the same bed she died on. Surrounded by her belongings in the house she left me. And my brothers and sisters did nothing to support me when she was dying. And now they just get on with their lives without a sad thought which baffles me.
But not for me, I feel dead inside, only existing to eat, sleep, trying to keep myself decent, and a little exercise. The episode faded abruptly, and he returned to sleep.
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The calm was dramatic. Was this a coincidence? Or might this be a revolutionary new help for parents whose kids have these frightening episodes? A number of readers have tried this approach. Most said it worked wonders; a few said it had no effect. If you try it, let me know the results, either way. Together we can learn more about the wonder and mystery of sleep in children. Just understanding what they are normal childhood sleep phenomena that children outgrow — not a sign of maladjustment or the result of bad parenting helps tremendously.
Greene is a practicing physician, author , national and international TEDx speaker , and global health advocate. I have had night terrors since I was a young kid. I am 38 years old. I still have them. I used to get them like once to twice a week. I get them every night now. I have injured myself during the terrors. My husband said I was screaming. Help and stop hurting me. Last night I woke up 3 times screaming and my husband was calling my name because I had dug my nails and into his back.
I have hit, scratched , cried during my terrors. My doctor just put me in a new medication today for it. I have a hard time going to sleep. Greene and I am not a doctor. Please keep that in mind when reading my comments and replies. I am now 47 but have a strong memory of incidents such as these in my own childhood. At around the age of 3, I used to get up and run round and round the lounge in circles crying. I remember the feeling of being incredibly scared and trying to run away. I even felt scared of my parents. I also remember feeling trapped. It is good to hear that I was not abnormal and that this was probably caused by big changes in my life at the time, perhaps toilet training.
Perhaps this could be a trigger for some children? My 6 year old daughter has just had her second confusional arousal episode last night screems, violent words, seemed to be aware and said she wanted to kill me, her mum, and kill the whole family… like possessed. It was definitely triggered by the fact I lifted her to the potty like most nights around 11pm to prevent her wetting her bed. I have a question though: for the last 6 months, she has been saying that she is a fairy and that fairies do not poop.
We have told her number of times that of course, everyone needs to poop, even fairies, but she is totally stuck on that one. I was wondering if it could be the same with poop retention. Have night frights been correlated to that one? What are you doing to help this little fairy stay regular? Note: I am the co-founder of DrGreene.
Once we made the connection about urinating we would sit her on the potty, she would go still completely unaware. Once she is done she settles down and goes right back to sleep. She has no memory of any of it the next morning. These episodes happen less frequently, maybe times per week now, and now that we know how to fix it life and sleep has gotten much easier for everyone! My 3 year old wakes screaming, kicking, completely inconsolable.
She will lash out if you talk to her or touch her. Eyes closed, hysterically crying, and screaming. My husband or I will pick her up, carry her to the bathroom, put her on the toilet, tell her to go. She does every. When she is finished we carry her back to bed, she is now calm, and hugs us, sometimes opens her eyes and will answer a question. When this started we were terrified something was really wrong.
Then after what seemed like forever we figured out the connection. Had no idea this was a thing and others experience this as well! I was very glad to read this article and the comments from readers linking night terrors to urination. Whenever my daughter is going through them I try to persuade her to urinate and that ends the episode. I am so relieved to read the same observation from other parents too. He beats her mother up on a daily basis. And verbally abuses the children. But you failed to mention bad parents.
When we were used to a wonderful peaceful life. Until this devil married mom. It was horrible. She put him 1st. He never worked. Yes as the oldest child, I was his supply and his scape goat. He fooled all of us. He died. My son is 4 years old and the event he just experienced is identical to the description I read of confusional arousal.
I read this after he was back asleep but about minutes into it he told me he had to pee, and did. And very shortly after he was very sleepy and back to bed. This was terrifying for me but reading this really did help. My son is 4 years old, he just had his second night terror ever and indeed its terrifying for the parents. The first one lasted about 30 minutes, months later this one lasted 20 minutes. For the first 15 minutes I could not of course get through to him at all. While he laid there screaming and thrashing he screamed he had to pee, then jumped out of bed squirming like he was about to pee his pants.
I asked him all the quesrions, can I take you to the bathroom, yes. Can I turn on the light, yes. He peed, and abruptly he calmed right down. I asked him if I could pick him up and laid him down and right back to sleep he went. I read your article and wanted to say this time the urinating and turning on of light helped quickly end the situation.
Thank you for the read!!
I just started to notice this from my 2 yr old last night. She had 3 episodes of these confusional state last night. I read from the comments that it is mostly related to children needing to go pee. Thank you. My daughter is 6. I am so unclear as to what is going on with her.
Throughout the night she has awakened kicking her feet violently and then sits up. She is so upset, she vomits. The cycle has started both nights at am and last on and off till sunrise. She laid right back down and went back to sleep. Does she spontaneously talk about them? Also, have you tried taking her to the bathroom and sitting her on the toilet when they first start?
Have you taken her temperature? My daughter has confusional states normally at least once a night. It had been more but her excema seemed to be triggering them at one point when it was very bad when the covers moved over her skin now thank fully understand control. If I take her before she needs it she just refuses to go. Any suggestions? My daughter had night terrors from age or so. At some point a light bulb turned on in my head, I had an intuition to get her to use the bathroom. It seemed to work!
I then searched night terrors and urination and found something in my search that suggested I was onto something. So for her last few episodes she had, I guided her to the bathroom and it worked every time!!! Just after doing this a few times her night terrors stopped completely! Occasionally I get reminded of our experiences and I try to suggest this strategy to others so I joined a group to share. I decided today to research night terrors and urination again, which led me to this article. I definitely think some of these children are struggling with their bodies not knowing yet to wake up and empty their bladder and then resulting in these night terror type episodes.
She always urinates. Then she would just sit there. I have to wipe her, pull her pants back up and lead her by hand or carry her back to bed. These happen maybe once a month. The episodes still scare me and she does not seem to be able to recall them. Thanks for the great article. My son who is 11 still suffers from these. He sometimes demands to be taking to the doctor as he feels he is dying.
All of the time he needs to go to the toilet. My son is doing the same thing. This has been going on every night for 5 weeks. Have you heard of anything to do to help stop this.? Although at first my 3 year old will refuse to pee, at second or third attempt he will do so and in a matter of seconds the night terror stops. Once I found this out it was definitely a relief. Before, he would keep crying and screaming for more than 20 minutes. I had even tried wetting his hands and feet but with no success. Apparently emptying his bladder works the best, at least for us!
Thank you for the article. I will definitely share it! Just wondering at what age do night terrors typically occur? Do babies or toddlers have night terrors? They tend to be more common in boys, and are much less common after age 7. Recently, my 10 year old son has been waking up every night about an hour after he begins sleeping. He always yells out for us, gets out of bed, and moves quickly to find us. His arms and hands are shaking while he appears very upset. He is inconsolable but talking with eyes open.
He uses the bathroom to urinate and sometimes throws up from being so worked up. Shortly after, he returns to his bed and usually does not get up again except for a few times when he has awoke several times. His words do not always make sense but sometimes they are related to schoolwork, teachers and classes.
He does not remember anything the next morning. This information about a full bladder is very interesting to me and I certainly can not argue against a possible connection based upon my experiences. I still wonder if some of the school issues and his other physical changes might also be factors. It is a helpless feeling as a parent to have to watch your child exhibit these behaviors. I am thankful that he does not recall the events each night.
Exhaustion may be causing him to sleep deeper than normal.
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In addition, I wonder if he may be stressed out about school and the combo is coming out in this sleep pattern. If this is the case, can you help him get to bed earlier? Perhaps over the weekend he could catch up a bit by also sleeping in? Hi, My 10 yr old has just started having this same behaviour an 1hr after being asleep. What you have described is exactly on point to what we are currently experiencing. As your situation occurred in I would be very interested to hear if he outgrew it and the episodes resolved.
Thankfully, our night time experience has improved over the past 2. The night time waking continued for about a year or so. But gradually lessened over time. He still has nights where he seems restless and finds it difficult to sleep but moving to the couch or another location seems to help calm him. Also, he is now fully aware when awake. Looking back, I believe that he was dealing with some anxiety and probably hormonal changes. Talking about the episodes only seemed to make it worse so we rarely discussed what had happened at night with him during the day.
It only seemed to made him more anxious about bedtime. However, things have improved and I hope that will be the same for you too. My son is doing the moaning and rolling around about same time every night within a 3 hour window, between 1 and 4 am. Most of the times he needs to pee and wakes up fine to go and then is right back to sleep as soon as head hits the pillow. Tonight started out with rolling around and moaning and trying to snuggle into my shoulder.
I asked if he needed to go potty and he shook his head no and I immediately asked him again and he gets up holding himself and said yes. I asked him if he wanted his potty chair, which is in the room next to the beds, or if he wanted the toilet. He said not his chair so we trekked upstairs to the bathroom and I got his pants down to go to the bathroom and as I was sitting him on the toilet he started freaking out and screaming.
He stopped screaming and throwing stuff after he urinated on my area rug. Then he was crying and when I asked if he was done pottying he said yes so he went and got his underwear and pj pants so I could help him get dressed. He let me help him and then sat in the rocking chair while I did a quick clean up on the rug. I carried him back to bed and he crawled onto his blankets and was snoring in seconds.
Would this be an instance of confusional arousal? He will be 3 in December. This sounds like a combination of confusional arousal and an irrational fear. Though in this case, it might be a rational fear. Go ahead and sit. You can pee now. Or if they try, it sends them over the edge. My 4yo daughter has had two night terrors over the past few months. Both times after a few minutes of intense crying and thrashing and not responding I put her on the potty and as soon as she urinated the night terror immediately stopped and she fell right back asleep.
Thank you so much for letting us know. He seemed to wake up on the plane we thought we were home-free with a sleeping baby , screamed inconsolably for 10 minutes, and then passed out again like nothing happened. Those wakings subsided once he learned to crawl. He was never really one to wake up crying, and the thrashing around made it obvious. I could nurse him back to sleep. And of course, front teeth coming in. I have been nursing him back to sleep, then he does it again at am. All this from the baby who had never really had trouble getting through the night, and had been weaned at night.
We never even really had to cry-it-out before. Is it possible night terrors are the disturbance? We will try to preempt the night terrors starting tonight. I think your observation that the last tough time was when he was learning to crawl is very fascinating. By chance, is he trying to learn a new skill now?
Hi help!! My daughter is 6 and has been having night terrors for a year or so now, mostly every night but then sometimes goes a week without one then pop it starts again. We went to a sleep charity and had a sleep study done that found she had 68 episodes of sleep apnea in one night. She also suffered with enlarged tonsils and lots of tonsillitis so she had a tonsillectomy and adenoids out a few months ago. Her tonsils were grade 3 and she had abnormally large adavoids so they definitely needed taking out BUT unfortunately we are still having night terrors.
We have tried everything I can think of, from no TV, relaxing massages before bed, sleeping in our bed, me sleeping with her in her bed, earlier bedtime, waking her after 40 mins of sleep just before a terror due but she would just have one half hour after this.. We tried taking her to the toilet like this suggests but she does nothing when there and most of the tume its impossible to get her to sit as she is that fraught running round and jumping about.
BUT she generally always has a wet pull up in the morning which I can only guess happens between 11pm-6am while am asleep cos I check all the other times. The only thing I can think of that could trigger the terror is her being too hot, she has always been a hot child and even in winter kicks off her duvet. She is such a bright happy girl, she has loads of friends and is doing so well at school and is always happy, she is a loving healthy girl with a big heart and a great loving family.
Could this over thinking n the heat be causing terrors? Also she is scared of being alone n wont be on her own anywhere without someone being with her. So if I go upstairs, she follows etc etc.. Thank u. The fan sounds very promising. Did you ever find out what to do for your daughter? Your situation sounds very similar to ours with our seven year old. She awakens got as well. Anything you have learned that helps?? Just listened to you on the sleep summit. I was eager to learn about night terrors.
My son had them for several years, , and has outgrown them. We thought he was too hot when he went to bed as he would be sweating. He is 15 now but as I look back, my husband would take him to the bathroom and once he urinated he began to calm down.