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13 Ways You Know You’re Dating A Grown-Ass Man | Thought Catalog

YES, you! You at home!

2. He does what he does because he loves to do it – he’s more than capable of motivating himself.

If you really feel like the whole world is so undateable you would not deign to have a single meal or drink with anyone in it, build yourself a Rapunzel style castle and give yourself the Hathaway wants an Oscar special. Otherwise, maybe expand your horizons! If the idea of apps or strangers setting you up makes you want to zip into a onesie and lock it at the top, head out with friends to parties of mutual acquaintances, or sign up for a class that interests you.

And be open to it: open to conversations, open to eye contact, whatever. Consider any roadblocks Great! You found someone.


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Now, does this person have a: girlfriend, spouse, substance abuse problem, incredibly overbearing parents, subtle but undeniably present misogynist attitude, a pet your allergic to or a penchant for fedoras? Are they interested in: the same type of relationship that you are, the same level of safe sex you are looking for, some dumb obscure band that is really important to you, or listening to you speak in general? Haaayyyuuuuge Motorola Razr-related burn there for the gents. Things are heating up! Nothing is truly delete-able; act accordingly.

If you wanted a job, would you just sit at home by the phone and wait for someone to magically call you and offer you your dream position? Of course not. Take the reins, be it in your career or your dating life. Texting is impersonal and easily misconstrued.

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E-mail has no standard response time. Real men call. And leave brief messages when their call goes unanswered. Without asking for help. Do not ask if she wants you to drive. She wants you to drive.

Signs you're dealing with a GROWN man...

Women have been warned—and rightly so—against riding in cars with strangers. Just take care of the tab. All of it. Find a beverage you enjoy and make that your signature order at the bar. In the age of personal branding, pick a liquor that matches your personality. Have one or two drinks during a date. Do not get drunk.

You yes you! Getting wasted is the fastest way for her to lose respect for you. Without asking. This means any kind of hugging, thigh rubbing, shoulder squeezing, and especially kissing on the first or second date. If she resists or says no, back off. The last thing a woman wants is to beg. Go get her. Not sure how? Picking her up and throwing her on a piece of furniture is always an option. If she resists or says no, respectfully accept the rejection.

She might not want it as often as you do.

If He Does These 21 Things, Congrats! You've Snagged A GROWN Man

Women are complex creatures, and their libidos even more so. You must seduce her. Read her signals. Follow the yellow brick road of her moans. The one exception to this rule is if she knows exactly what makes her come and she tells you what it is. Be the container for their messy emotions. Acknowledge, but do not indulge, drama. Really listen. You should be the steady, grounding force. When the shit hits the fan, your job is to reassure your lady or your kids that everything is going to be okay.


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  • And you are going to personally make sure everything is going to be okay. Men are meant to protect women and children. Somehow, this lesson got lost and now we see men in the news doing horrific things to women. If you see someone being harmed, intervene. Be an everyday hero. Be the knight in shining armor. Speak out against injustice. Promote women in the workplace.

    Advocate for those who cannot do so for themselves. Quite the contrary. To love and let yourself be loved are brave acts. To express your love takes strength. Because you do care for them, right? Men listen to other men. When you see a friend acting in an un-gentlemanly fashion, speak up. Raise the bar for yourself and your buddies.

    Be the best version of yourself. Be the role model you never had.


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