I just turned forty and am thinking of moving to a city in another state. I'd be leaving friends and activities.
Moving Back Home: The Best Decision Or The Worst?
A difference is if I move to where I might want, I would have family in the area hour away. I've been tossing around the pros and cons. Decisions, decisions. Originally Posted by KingBing. It depends on where you want to move to. Some places are an easier transition than others.
At 40, your piers will be people that are married and have kids which envelopes their whole lives or divorced and it will be harder to find good friends to hang with sorry to have to bring this up, but it's true. Not impossible, just harder. That's really the only stumbling block I can see for you, without knowing any other information. Shake off the naysayers in your current city. I've lived in 7 states and it never fails.
Every time I go to move, I get all those same generic negative comments. When I was moving to Chicago I got "But it's really cold, you'll hate it", "it's too expensive", etc etc. Now that I'm preparing to move to Seattle, the naysayers are at it again. The only person being supportive is the one friend who wants to go there too. I don't know if it's just an impulse people have, their too scared to do it themselves, or if they are just so unhappy in their own lives and they are unable to escape that they try to talk you out of it.
Just ignore them. True, you are going to have to rebuild your support group and that can be tough for some. Have the right attitude, get out, etc and it will be easier. It's a process, but you may luck out and hit it off with some new people right away. I know I have in a couple of places, while others it's taken longer. Some places much longer.
I do have some advice through my own moves and those around me and that is in regards to the biggest obstacle of any big move that people go through. You'll wrestle with it like the rest I'm sure, but it will pass, and that is after the excitement of the move wears off usually a couple of weeks after you arrive at your new city , that "homesick" feeling kicks in. Usually once you get settled in, your brain is going to struggle with this change.
Moving Back To Normal
I even read about this phenomenon recently. But hang in there, it passes. Don't give up and move back in the first year. I've seen people throw in the towel on a move 3 - 4 months in. Thats not giving it a chance. You have to give yourself time to adjust to your new life. I say Go For It!!! I had a job but no friends or family there and guess what - I made loads of new friends.
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At 36 my husband and I moved to Hong Kong leaving all our friends in London he had moved to London leaving all his friends and family in Switzerland 7 years earlier and started again in not only another city but a completely different culture. Admittedly I did have my husband around but as he worked long hours it mostly didn't feel like it. He told me that he'd lost his job and hadn't been able to find a new one. I told him I was jealous that he'd get to be back in Chicago--we'd both talked often about being a little homesick.
He smiled and said, "Yeah, I just didn't think this is how I'd be going back.
Why Move to Denver?
I pitied him. I really did. How awful, I thought. How embarrassing. And then six months later, the magazine where I was working folded and I found myself in a similar situation. I wondered if I should leave New York, if I should look for another job right away, if I should move home.
It was a weird time, because so many people were being laid off. The number of my friends that lost their jobs was amazing. It says a lot that during those months of unemployment, I never had to look far for someone to hang out with during the weekdays. The whole world, it seemed, was being laid off. At that time, we were in our late 20s, mostly unmarried, and for many people, after job searching for a few months, moving home was the only option left.
All of a sudden there was a migration of peers trekking back to their parents. There were some other reasons that people moved home--I had a couple of friends who finished grad school and couldn't find a job; some were getting married and thought it made financial sense; and one couple wanted to save money to buy a house.
Whatever the reason, it became normal to hear that someone was returning to the nest. One by one, people moved right back into the twin beds in their childhood rooms. It was like they were just taking a time out, a breather, a chance to regroup and figure out their next step. No one expected to live there forever, but there was a scary edge to the decision.
Moving Back Home: The Best Decision Or The Worst? | HuffPost
What if they never got another job? What if one year passed and then another? What if they never moved out again? Five years later, some of these friends have moved back out and are able to look back at that time with some distance. Some are still at home, in the thick of it, emailing and calling me from the houses where they grew up, wondering, Is this living situation too good to be true, or the worst idea I ever had? As someone whose move back involved six trips to the vet with my cat, nine phone calls to Optus, two applications for a new driver licence and fee-laden bank transfers between three jurisdictions, I can vouch for the fact the administrative side of the move can be a headache.
So it helps to start preparing early. James also recommends putting your health insurance on hold while you're abroad. This way you keep your rating with the company and "if you have pre-existing conditions If you have a pet, you'll need to start the import process at least six to eight months before your intended move date. Rabies shots have to be administered a good few months before your return.
We learned the hard way: my husband had to stay in London for an extra week to meet the post-shot waiting period. You'll also need time to arrange the government-mandated microchip and quarantine. Also, read up on your tax obligations while abroad — an oversight made by a number of expats I know, including Amy Harrington, a year-old remedial massage therapist.
But in short, you may have to file two tax returns: one in Australia and another abroad. That's because you'll remain an Australian resident for tax purposes if you don't set up a permanent home in another country, an ATO spokesperson explains. That means you'll have to lodge an Australian tax return and declare all your foreign employment income, even if tax was taken out in the country where you earned it. Regardless of how active you've been on Skype, WhatsApp and Facebook during your time away, don't expect your relationships to be the same once you return.
They have to create a gap again and that may take some time," Ms Sokolski says. Other friends may have gone down a different life path to yours which may alter the dynamic of your relationship — especially if your friends have started families. Amy felt the same when trying to slot back into her Gold Coast social group: "Everyone's coupled up and is doing their own thing and nobody really parties anymore.