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While orgasms aren't the goal, per say, "tantric orgasms" are often referred to as transcendental experiences, says Sally Valentine, Ph. Sign me up, right? But how the heck do you go for it? First, talk it over with your partner. Give them the deets on what it is, and why you want to try it you know: deeper intimacy, passion, more satisfying sex, or just for fun. Once your boo gives the thumbs up, start incorporating the art of tantra into your sex routine with these simple steps.

A Beginner’s Guide to Tantric Sex | StyleCaster

Get into the mood is by incorporating rituals into sex. That can be anything, such as setting up your space as a sanctuary with candles, pillows, and soft music. What's most important is that you make sex feel, well, special.

How to start having Tantric sex (tips for beginners)

Just as with yoga, tantra begins with and centers around the breath. Try this method recommended by Valentine: Take a full breath in through your nose. On the inhale, fill up your belly with air. Are you doing it right? When you place your hands over your belly, you should feel it expand on the inhale and return to normal on the exhale. Practice the belly breathing technique a couple times before you bring it into sex so that it becomes more automatic, she recommends. Eye contact will help you two feel closer during sex.


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Focus on each other. Traditionally, this is by looking into their left eye, but you can look into both if that's more comfortable to you. Tantra defines sex a bit differently. It is seen more meditatively, with no beginning and no end. Freed from the limitations of our sexuality, that separate the goals of men and women, Tantra teaches lovers how to extend the peak of their sexual ecstasy so that women and men can experience several orgasms in a single sexual encounter.

A Beginner’s Guide to Tantric Sex

Leading teachers of Tantra suggest that even men who experience premature ejaculation can learn how to extend orgasm and, with practice, enjoy multiple orgasms. Make time for each other every week. Plan a sexual rendezvous at least once per week. Set aside an hour or more of uninterrupted time to be together. Make your relationship a priority, that must be the primary concern of a tantric practice.

Create an inviting atmosphere.

A Beginner’s Guide to Tantric Sex

Whether you meet in your bedroom, living room or another space in your house, creating a sacred space for each other will help relax you and bring you into the moment. Candles, incense, flowers etc. Use ritual to develop intimacy. Begin your journey with a ritual. Drinking, eating, bathing, messages, reading to each other, dancing or even listening to music.

Most importantly, use this time to communicate, sharing what you adore about each other. The idea is to help each partner feel loved and cherished. In order to fully focus on each other rather than on the goal of sex , some lovers experiment with such intimate rituals for several weeks before moving on to the next steps or engaging in intercourse. This is a wonderful way to strengthen the bonds of love and ignite passion. Experiment with erotic touch to fully appreciate your partner. Share your desires in an encouraging way, making requests in a clear and loving manner.

For example, ask your lover to caress your clitoris or penis or any erogenous zone , encouraging him or her to apply more or less pressure, to stroke in a specific pattern, to use the tongue, etc. Include whatever excites you and your partner — a feather, vibrator, massage oil, blindfold, soft fabric, erotica and loving notes to each other are just a few ideas.

This is your time for appreciation, experimentation and for taking responsibility for your own fulfillment by asking for what you want. The Tantric tradition emphasizes preparation for lovemaking. Erotic rituals such as those described above focus on exchanging pleasures, awakening the senses and allowing couples to communicate on deep physical and emotional levels.

Beginner’s Tantra for Two: Maximum Pleasure

Maintain a deep level of intimacy. Help each other feel loved and desired. Set aside an hour or more of uninterrupted time to be together. Make your relationship a priority, that must be the primary concern of a tantric practice. Create an inviting atmosphere. Whether you meet in your bedroom, living room or another space in your house, creating a sacred space for each other will help relax you and bring you into the moment.

Candles, incense, flowers etc. Use ritual to develop intimacy.

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Begin your journey with a ritual. Drinking, eating, bathing, messages, reading to each other, dancing or even listening to music. Most importantly, use this time to communicate, sharing what you adore about each other. The idea is to help each partner feel loved and cherished. In order to fully focus on each other rather than on the goal of sex , some lovers experiment with such intimate rituals for several weeks before moving on to the next steps or engaging in intercourse.

This is a wonderful way to strengthen the bonds of love and ignite passion. Experiment with erotic touch to fully appreciate your partner. Share your desires in an encouraging way, making requests in a clear and loving manner. For example, ask your lover to caress your clitoris or penis or any erogenous zone , encouraging him or her to apply more or less pressure, to stroke in a specific pattern, to use the tongue, etc.


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Include whatever excites you and your partner — a feather, vibrator, massage oil, blindfold, soft fabric, erotica and loving notes to each other are just a few ideas. This is your time for appreciation, experimentation and for taking responsibility for your own fulfillment by asking for what you want. The Tantric tradition emphasizes preparation for lovemaking. Erotic rituals such as those described above focus on exchanging pleasures, awakening the senses and allowing couples to communicate on deep physical and emotional levels.

Maintain a deep level of intimacy. Help each other feel loved and desired.


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Keep it slow. During this time, focus on each other.

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Bring your attention back to your breath. Resist the urge to breathe quickly. Quick breathing or panting creates arousal, speeding you toward orgasm. Instead, take long, slow, deep breaths from the belly, exhaling gradually.